The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass, my mother, when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go fuck yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.
6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
Sounds sarcastic ?? they are, infact, the commandments of a religion guiding its followers and others in matters of life, worship, sexual conduct and nutrition.
Pastafarianism, a religion founded by a Physics graduate of Oregon State University. Reacting to the decision of the Kansas State Board of Education to introduce and teach the concept of Intelligent Design as an alternative to biological evolution, Bobby Henderson(founder), sent a open letter to the Board arguing against the introduction of Intelligent Design teaching and that his theory is also equally valid.
Intelligent Design is an assertion that "certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection". In simpler words it means that certain things in this universe are very complex and so ordered that it cannot be comprehended by the normal human mind and that they are created by a more intelligent entity(presumably god). For instance, we having 2 eyes, 2 hands, 1 brain :p, 2 legs, etc etc are consciously created by that intelligent entity and our human body is not just a product of natural evolution, which actually seems to be aimless. ID is simply an argument about the existence of GOD, without explicitly mentioning it. Natural Selection, on the other hand, suggests that the present human body is a product of millions of years' of evolution, shaped by the climate, vegetation, environment etc, in short "NATURE".
Pastafarianism, thus came into being in 2005 as an opposition to this move of the Kansas State Board of Education to abandon the theory of Natural Selection and incorporate the Intelligent Design concept as an approach to explain the origin of life. It adopted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as its deity and a set of rituals were formulated.
It sparked off a significant amount of interest and has gained enough popularity for itself, so much so that it was a discussed in the annual meeting of American Academy of Religions, earlier this month. certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection. Academics say while its inclusion in the program may get laughs it is a serious debate on the essence of religion exploring questions such as "does religion require a genuine theological belief or simply a set of rituals and a community joining together as a way of signaling their cultural alliances to others?" or in short, "is an anti-religion like Flying Spaghetti Monsterism actually a religion?"
Whether it is accepted as a religion or not is not as significant as the other thing which is unique about this religion(or parody religion). While the antecedents of most of the religions in this world are obscure and a matter of debate of intellectals, this at least has a clear account of events which led to the origin and development of the religion. Who knows ? There is every possibility that it could develop and become a full fledged religion and command a greater following than the existing ones and we can also take some amount of pride saying that we actually saw the origin of a religion as compared to people belonging to the past couple of centuries. I wonder if this blog of mine could someday become the object of study of the intellectuals trying to find accounts of the origin of pastafarianism. Sounds super imaginative and exaggerative ? not impossible though !
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"